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How yallll doiinnnnnn. How yall doin chocolate city? Give yourself a round of applause. Widens his eyes and rotates his body away from audience Man I was at the capitol today. I had no idea the capitol was right next to the roughest fucking neighbor I ever been to in my whole goddamn life.

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They got to bus white people in. Aint that a bitch? Chuckles In a monotone politician sounding accent: Now we got everybody running for president. We got a Mormon, a black man and a woman. Every time she get in front of a black audience she talk black. You ever notice that?

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She going to fuck around and slip up. Ohh, oh.

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We got John McCain. You must be out your fucking mind. The only job you should ever have is a greeter at Walmart. Fuck you. If your birthday got anythang in it, you should be taking a nap. What the fucka—?

You know, he fo there…. And Mormons up to believed it was a sin to be black. And the big question is, Barack Obama is running for president. Mocks a news reporter: Is the country really ready for a black president? After Dl black top looking to be suck off motherfuck we got, come on, now.

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How bad could we fuck up? What are we gonna do? You have questions at the White House you never had to answer. Mocks the presidents assistant: President, uh, you know. President, I know, we love dogs too, but pit bulls are illegal in Washington D.

President, you wife asked for euck hot comb. President, are Wyola MT sexy women going to get sleepy after every single meal, Mr. President, the kitchen called and they said they serve other things besides wings, Mr. President, do I have to give you dap every single time I see you, Mr. Were used to John and George and Bill. All the fucking good money taken.

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This is D. It is where the immigration debate is raised. And they want to build a wall to keep the Mexicans out. How many more bricks do we have to go? Jose, help rop with the wall.

Please Jose. Br moved it. If were gonna build a wall, at least put their names on it. Motions in the air This is for you, Lupe.

Everybody in this motherfucker took a boat. Laughs We actually have a law here that says if Cubans leave Cuba and make it to America, they get to stay.

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Give me your tired, your poor, you huddled masses yearning to breathe free. The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.

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Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, and I lift my lamp by the golden door. Except for Mexicans. We reserve the right to refuse the service to anybody. We have a law here. What the fuck—?

All kind of shit going on. I was drinking. Shakes his head and raises his eyebrows [Audience laughter] People saying shit, it all started with that Michael Richards too. That was eight. Fuck that shit-eh.

Moves all the way until his hands are at his knees well you can, just not here. Laughs Do it in your car, like you always do. How did he get my goddamn number, this nigger here?

The nigger made my hotel arrangements. Soft laugh The black man picks up my money.

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I—So tired of the loo,ing I see. This dude got offended, man. Just always offended. I say what the fuck I feel. What the fuck I know? Everybody getting in trouble. Don Imus got in trouble, man. At one point, I thought he played for Rutgers.

Points as if he is pointing to his TV, pauses in this position What the fuck—? You can call me what you want.

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Are you fucking crazy? By the fourth quarter you look like me. I really try not to, man. But you know, we Fwb love tonight a lot of problems in our community other than what happened with Don Imus. You know that 93 percent of black people killed in this country are killed by other black people? There are more black men in jail than are in college, and we fucking around with Don Imus?

Fuck that. What is this shit all about?

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Put it behind your ear to stop the boat from rocking. He fucked that girl one time, had to give her the whole piece of wood. If you—if you not sure what to do, watch us. When we leave, come, goddamn it.

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Look at this crazy motherfucker right here. They done killed the supervisor.

Fuck that shit. We just have different experiences. They talk shit to them. One of them done something. Goddamn it!

Give me your badge number asshoooole. No speak-a English.

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No, no. You ever had the po-lice follow you so long you get suspicious of your own goddamn self?