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Views: 9044

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Recently, Facebook users have noticed that when you add a new friend, you also get a message that looks like the person wrote to you.

The red notification causes a surge of hope, or at least curiosity, that this new friend had something nice or meaningful to say.

Are you? But it would be weird if the message said that.

But few people do. Connectedness requires work, and it means opening yourself to rejection and humiliation.

If you did have something truly funny or insightful to say, why not post it where everyone could see it? If Facebook seriously wanted to get people talking on the Facebook Messenger app, it would send a more provocative message.

Tell him what your favorite type of pizza is. Or, to be more straightforward: If you send Stephen a message and ask him out for pizza, he will say yes.

Stephen is sick. There is no one better for you in a mile radius, and you are an unsafe driver.

The helpful team at Facebook convinces you to settle for deactivating your account instead of deleting it. That way if you ever change your mind, you can reactivate it at any time.

They remind you that your birthday is coming up, and meeting people is tough, and life is unpredictable.

After a few Tinder dates and a minor car accident and news of escalating tension with North Korea, you reactivate your account. You tell yourself that human connection is no less real just because it was originally facilitated by a corporate algorithm. The fear was never actually about what to say, lookint was about rejection.

So what if that fear is gone? You are, right?

We should get pizza. We want to hear what you think about this article.

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